What does God expect of a man?

  1. Masculine Distinction
    1. What does it mean to be masculine? (ie. Pee-Wee Herman, Rambo)

                                                               i.      Ability to benchpress your own weight

                                                             ii.      Auto grease under your fingernails

                                                            iii.      Appetite for meat and potatoes

                                                            iv.      Scars from street fights

                                                             v.      Deep voice that utters expletives

                                                            vi.      Treatment of women and children as slaves

                                                          vii.      Loud, opinionated, and bigoted ideas

                                                         viii.      Viewing women as sex objects

                                                            ix.      Fanatical following of sports

                                                             x.      Refusal to cry

                                                            xi.      Rough and gruff demeanor

    1. How are men different than women?

                                                               i.      smaller stomach

                                                             ii.      larger lungs

                                                            iii.      20% more red blood cells

                                                            iv.      50% greater brute strength

                                                             v.      shorter lifespan

                                                            vi.      less men are left-handed, dyslexic, or nearsighted

                                                          vii.      greater tendency to have allergies

                                                         viii.      greater aggressiveness

                                                            ix.      stronger sex drive

                                                             x.      more stimulated sexually by sight

                                                            xi.      less aware of how to develop an interpersonal relationship

                                                          xii.      more logical

                                                         xiii.      less intuitive

    1. Where in the Bible does it talk about masculinity?

                                                               i.      Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

                                                             ii.      Genesis 2:18 “It is not good that man should be a lone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

                                                            iii.      Adam’s masculinity was incomplete and undefined without feminine human presence.

    1. What does our present-day culture say about masculinity?

                                                               i.      Only distinction is reproductive role

                                                             ii.      Males say masculinity is the mark of superiority

                                                            iii.      Men who look and act more like women (music stars)

                                                            iv.      Homosexuality is an acceptable alternative lifestyle

                                                             v.      Masculinity = possessing male sex organs with a sex drive

    1. Why has masculinity become so degraded?

                                                               i.      Sin! Romans 1:21-24


  1. Servant Leadership
    1. Leadership

What it means

What it doesn’t mean

- Responsible, compassionate, understanding, accountable, competent, respectable, authoritative, pioneering, exemplary, and God fearing.

- Taking initiative, accepting responsibility, and shouldering the weight of accountability before God.

- Make all the decisions

- Be the boss

 

    1. Servanthood

What it means

What it doesn’t mean

- Responsive, respectful, willing, loving, self-sacrificing, and submissive.

- Lower oneself, humbly serve another person, to put the best interests of someone else above your own enjoyment.

- Unthinking obedience

 

    1. How was Jesus an example of a Servant-Leader?

                                                               i.      Phil. 2:5-11 Jesus had the power, but He gave his life

                                                             ii.      Matt. 20:28 “…the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many”

                                                            iii.      He provided strong leadership, earned respect and obedience of men and women (didn’t force)

    1. How does servant leadership work out in different roles?

                                                               i.      As a single man (1 Tim. 4:12-16) – care for others, model a life that is worth following

                                                             ii.      As a husband (1 Cor 11:3, Eph 5:25) – head of his wife, love his wife as Christ loved the church, put his love into action

                                                            iii.      As a father (Deut 6:6-9, Eph 6:4, 1 Tim 5:8, Eph 6:4, Col 3:21) – training his children, provide for their needs, does not exasperate them

                                                            iv.      As a church leader (1 Pet 5:1-4) – lead people under their care (like a shepherd)

                                                             v.      As a member of society (Dan 1,6) – take a stand for God, do what is right despite the risk

    1. Why is leadership in marriage and in the church a male quality? What does headship mean?

                                                               i.      Men and women are equal in Christ (Gal. 3:28). They each have a different function.

                                                             ii.      Leadership != superiority, and supportive != inferiority

                                                            iii.      Father is head of Christ, but they are equal (1 Cor 11:3)

                                                            iv.      Men should be leaders in the church (1 Cor 11:7-11, 1 Tim 2:13)

                                                             v.      Headship = “origin” or “source”

                                                            vi.      Paul: God > Jesus Christ > Church

                                                          vii.      Qualifications for church leaders (1 Tim 3:4,5,12): older women to teach younger women to be obedient to their husbands.

                                                         viii.      “Battle of the sexes” began at the fall when men and women tried to dominate each other.

                                                            ix.      Women should not be passive slaves.

    1. Why is a servant attitude so important?

                                                               i.      Leadership without loving service produces a dictator.

                                                             ii.      A man worth following expresses true love (1 Cor. 13)


  1. Spiritual Equality
    1. Why does inequality exist?

                                                               i.      People try to protect their own interests by denying the rights of others.

                                                             ii.      Prejudice and discrimination

                                                            iii.      Misinterpretation of the Bible

                                                            iv.      Male and female insecurities, failures, and overreactions

                                                             v.      Men failing to treat women as equals

                                                            vi.      Women doing well in traditionally male roles

                                                          vii.      Women desiring opportunities for service

    1. Were women created to be equals of men? Does equality mean sameness? Can men and women be considered equals if we make a distinction in their functions?

                                                               i.      “God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Gen. 1:27)

                                                             ii.      “God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over… every living thing that moves on the earth.’” (Gen. 1:28)

                                                            iii.      Eve was made to be a “helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18)

                                                            iv.      God made men and women with complimentary strengths.

    1. What does the Bible say about the equality of male and female? (Gal. 3:26-29)

                                                               i.      Gal 3:26-29 Men and women both have the same access to God

    1. How should men treat women?

                                                               i.      With purity (1 Tim. 5:2-4, Heb 13:4) – treat women as sisters, impure sexual joking or sexual activity outside marriage is forbidden.

                                                             ii.      With understanding (1 Pet 3:7) – invest time to try to understand how a woman thinks, feels, and acts. Men should not expect women to be like them.

                                                            iii.      With dignity and honor (1 Tim 5:2, 1 Pet 3:7, Rom 12:10) – treat older women as mothers, men honor women.

                                                            iv.      With love (Eph 4:25-33, Matt 7:12, 22:39) – treat women as he would want to be treated.

                                                             v.      With an awareness of their giftedness (1 Cor 12:4-17) – both men and women are spiritually gifted.

                                                            vi.      With submission (Eph 5:21) – men should be self-sacrificing

    1. Thinking It Over

                                                               i.      How do men treat women in your family, church, or community?

                                                             ii.      Do you agree that complementary functions should not be thought of as being unequal in value?

                                                            iii.      How should a man (as a single, married, or church leader) encourage women to use their spiritual gifts?

 

  1. Strength Of Character
    1. What is the strength of character?

                                                               i.      DL Moody: “Character is what you are in the dark”

                                                             ii.      Stands for what is right, lives out his convictions

                                                            iii.      Godliness and spiritual maturity, consistency of character, proper self-image

    1. What produces strong character?

                                                               i.      (Rom. 5:1, Eph. 1,2) Self-confidence

                                                             ii.      (Eph. 2:10, Phil 3:16, Titus 2:12-14, Jas. 2:14-26) Consistency

                                                            iii.      (Phil. 2:12, 3:12-14, 1 Tim. 4:7) Training

                                                            iv.      (Matt. 6:33, 1 Sam. 13:13-14) Right priorities

                                                             v.      (1 Cor. 11:1, Heb. 12:1-3, 13:7, 1 Pet. 2:21) Following the right example

                                                            vi.      (1 John 2:5) Obedience to God’s commands

                                                          vii.      (1 Pet. 2:2) A steady diet of God’s word

                                                         viii.      (Gal. 5:16-25, Eph. 5:18, Phil. 4:13) Relying on the strength of the Spirit

                                                            ix.      (Jas. 2:14-26) Right choices

                                                             x.      (Prov. 3:5,6) Trusting and depending on God

                                                            xi.      (Eph. 4:7-16) Learning from others

    1. What are some strong character qualities? (1 Timothy 3:1-7)

                                                               i.      “above reproach” (v.2) – “blameless,” have a pattern of life that is consistent with biblical standards.

                                                             ii.      “husband of but one wife” (v.2) – “a one-woman man” (Gr), faithful to wife, doesn’t flirt

                                                            iii.      “temperate” (v.2) – “a man  who is temperate does not lose his physical, psychological, and spiritual orientation. He remains stable and steadfast, and his thinking is clear” (Gene Getz)

                                                            iv.      “self-controlled” (v.2) – sensible in thinking and actions, sound judgment

                                                             v.      “respectable” (v.2) – “of good behavior,” respectable and honorable in his actions

                                                            vi.      “hospitable” (v.2) – “loving strangers” (Gr), friendly, willing to help those in need

                                                          vii.      “able to teach” (v.2) – ability to teach others about faith, to be “teachable”

                                                         viii.      “not given to drunkenness” (v.3)

                                                            ix.      “not violent” (v.3) – “not a striker” (Gr), applies to actions and words

                                                             x.      “gentle” (v.3) – gracious, kind, and considerate of others

                                                            xi.      “not quarrelsome” (v.3) – not always looking for an argument

                                                          xii.      “not a lover of money” (v.3) – acquiring money or possessions should not be a priority

                                                         xiii.      “manage his own family well” (v.4)

                                                         xiv.      “children obey him with proper respect” (v.4)

                                                          xv.      “not a recent convert” (v.5) – new believer who becomes a leader can become prideful, man should not take responsibility that he is not mature enough to handle

                                                         xvi.      “good reputation with outsiders” (v.7)

    1. How did men in the Bible display strength of character?

                                                               i.      (Gen. 6, Heb. 11:7) Noah – light in the darkness

                                                             ii.      (Gen. 13) Abraham – gave Lot the first choice of land

                                                            iii.      (Gen. 39, Gen. 42-45) Joseph – fled sexual temptation, did not avenge brothers

                                                            iv.      (Heb. 11:24,25) Moses – obeyed God instead of pursuing pleasure

                                                             v.      (1 Sam. 24) David – showed respect to King Saul

                                                            vi.      (Dan. 1:8, 6:10-23) Daniel – did not compromise his standards

                                                          vii.      (Ruth 2-4) Boaz – protected Ruth’s safety and honor

                                                         viii.      (Acts 6:3,5) Stephen – “of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom”

                                                            ix.      (1 Cor. 9:19-23, 24-27) Paul – spiritual sensitivity to believers with weak consciences, guarded his integrity

                                                             x.      (Acts 4:36, 11:23-24, 15:46-41) Barnabas – encouraged others, took the risk of giving Mark a second chance

What does God expect of a woman?

  1. Feminine Distinction

Males

Females

- muscular and aggressive and loud

- initiator

- statistical edge in objective and spatial reasoning

- priorities: 1) sexual fulfillment, 2) recreational companionship, 3) an attractive spouse, 4) domestic support, 5) admiration

- Bible does not say that men should not be sensitive, emotional, compassionate, and responsive (Moses, David)

- kind, compassionate, sensitive, and tender

- responder

- excel in logic of the heart

- priorities: 1) affection, 2) conversation, 3) honesty and openness, 4) financial support, 5) family commitment

- Bible says it is foolish for a woman not to lead, be strong, or assert herself (Deborah, Esther)

-          Distinctions in appearance (Deut. 22:5, 1 Cor. 11:14,15)

-          Distinctions in roles (1 Tim. 5:9-15, Titus 2:4,5) – there is honor in marrying, having children, and managing the home and use it at as a place of Christian hospitality

o        It is not a matter of how intelligent you are; it is a matter of God’s design for the family

o        It depends on if the woman is married, has children, and if the husband can provide for the home (Ruth, Deborah, and Anna had roles outside the home)

-          Distinctions in sexual relationships (Rom. 1:26,27)

-          Thinking It Over

o        How does knowing the differences between males and females help me in my relationships?

o        What do I think about the Biblical truths of distinction in appearance, roles, and sexual relationships? How does that affect my thoughts about what to expect in a relationship?

 

 

  1. Selective Submission
    1. Submission is what God wants
    2. Woman has the opportunity and responsibility to be selective in their submission

 

Eph. 5:22-25, 1 Cor. 11:1-3

-          submission is not negotiable

-          God ordained responsibility to obey and recognize husband’s leadership

 

1 Pet. 3:1-2 submission is right even when the husband is not godly

Acts 5:29 God doesn’t expect wives to always obey husband/church leader (like citizen required to obey government)

Acts 5:1-11 Ananias and Sapphira are examples of mindless following

1 Sam. 25:18-44 Abigail didn’t follow husband who tried to defy David

 

-          Wife is required to follow husband; when husband asks something against will of God, they are free to refuse

-          Roles are not dependent on how the other person is; husband to serve his wife lovingly if she is not submissive; wife is to be submissive even if the husband is not loving

-          Men are not perfect; how can women commit their care and judgment to men?

 

Eph. 5:21-33 married woman is responsible to follow husband as husband is responsible to follow God

-          submission to husband implies confidence in God

-          God has the woman’s best interest in mind

-          God will intervene when there is something wrong.

 

1 Pet. 3:5-6 Sarah as an example of someone who is respected for her submission

Gen. 16:5-6 Sarah was not mindlessly passive and expressed her deeply felt hurt; she recognized that she and her husband were being watched.

1 Pet. 3:1 wife should take a stand for what is right

 

1 Cor. 11:3-16, 1 Tim 2:11-15 woman is to take supportive role in church

- women are ministry participants – not pastors, elders, apostles

- women should minister to each other

 

  1. Spiritual Equality

 

  1. Strength Of Character

1.       A woman’s strength of character is found in the person and example of Jesus Christ

-          1 Pet. 2:13-3:6

-          Jesus knew how to live under the worst kind of authority and still make the best of it

-          Jesus never stopped being godly just because He was living under evil authority

-          Col. 3:12-17

2.       A woman’s strength of character is found in an ancient formula

-          1 Pet. 3:3-5

-          Women should not depend on jewelry, clothes, and cosmetics to be beautiful

-          Graciousness, strength, and integrity

3.       A woman’s strength of character is made perfect in weakness

-          2 Cor. 4:7

-          2 Cor. 12 talks about Paul’s struggle to cope with physical weakness

-          2 Cor. 12:9

-          Physical weakness gives women occasion to become strong in the Lord.

4.       A woman’s strength of character must be channeled through her circumstances

-          Single women – 1 Cor. 7:34-35

-          Married women – Titus 2:3-5

 

Biblical Models

1.       Abigail (1 Sam. 25)

2.       The daughters of Zelophehad (Num. 27:1-11)

3.       Deborah (Judg. 4:1-24)

4.       Esther (Esth. 2:1-18; 4:10-7:10)

5.       Naomi (Ruth 1:3-5, 1:20-21, 2:20)

6.       Ruth (Ruth 1:6-18, 2:22-23, 3:1-6, 2:14,18, 2:3-7, 2:11, 3:10, 3:11, 4:15, 3:3, 3:9)

 

Virtuous Woman (Proverbs 31:10-31)

-          commendable wife and mother

-          lives for her home and family

-          industrious

-          self-disciplined and orderly

-          sharp business woman

-          has good, refined tastes

-          hospitable

-          charitable in time of need

-          spiritually minded